‘We were never a thing! …..

I am also trying to catch up here.’ I said.

‘I feel so dumb,’ tears rolled, ‘Maybe we should just break up,’ she said.

‘Yeah. Okay!’

‘And you can’t even fight for us. For what we ha..v..e.’ Another tear rolled.

We were never a thing! I cut her short.

But was that entirely true? Maybe not every bond needed a label. Yet emotions became too fragile to define. Our souls met. There was a sense of something. The fleeting glimpses. The quick smiles. This was the meeting of souls. Knowing that’s enough, I got comfortable. I wanted her on hold. Knowing she loved sigma men, although she joked with her friends about, sigma p***y men. I jokingly flirted with her. Apparently, she thought I was emotionally invested. But I was here for the play. Theatrical it was. I was emotionally unavailable.

Let’s talk about the delicate beginnings. “What are we?” Caro had asked a couple of times.

I shrugged it off. I wasn’t ready to commit. I craved casual. She never read the signs. I feared being vulnerable. I wanted to keep things fun. Fun meant…. Situationships. One Night Stand. And No Labels. Sincerely, I had Avoidant-attachment issues not to mention my Commitment issues. Dating trauma made it hard to love.

That afternoon, I was listening to Otile Brown's song ‘Alivyonipenda’. I loved that bar, ‘Saa zingine anayekupenda humpendi. Unapenda mwingine. Anayependa mwingine hata asiye mpendanga…’ Damn! That hit hard. Caro had given her all. I wasn’t ready to hurt her feelings. But she became clingy. She offered herself whole. She wasn’t willing to back-off!

I became the ‘catch’, playing breadcrumbs. Valuing our friendship yet fearing to define it. I opted to be clear with Caro. ‘We could try FWB…’ I mumbled. She agreed.

Was I aware when she took things seriously? Naah, I wasn’t. She wanted to show me everything. ‘I liked what I saw. Daimn!’ The curves. Never thought a lady would chase a man. Or maybe, it was a new rebel. It’s time women start approaching men, I thought so.

Talk about feelings escalating. Her love felt real. And I played along, even while being clear (or so I thought). She confessed. She wanted ‘main’ status, commitment. I wanted neither, but didn’t want to lose a friend. So I kept her guessing:

Playful Flirting. I was hot one minute. Cold the next. I blew up her phone, but I’d ghost most of the time. I was super into conversations during coffee dates but took ages to respond. I deliberately withdrew. Gave her mixed signals and played hard to get.

She questioned during a coffee date. ‘Are you Genuinely Interested in me or you just Playing Games?’ I couldn’t say it out loud that she wasn’t my type. But I said, “This was never serious!”

Caro: But we were dating!? It’s been three….months….

We’re we though?

We kissed once, had a sleepover after my final football match, came from holidays, And then we’re dating. C’mon, be fair.

Caro: It felt so different with you..(tears rolled)....But y’all are the same! Honestly…,(Another tear rolled) I feel so dumb…Maybe, we should just break up.

Yeah. Okay.

Caro: And you can’t even fight for us. Fight for what we had….

We were never a thing! I cut her short.

Comments (5)

• Main Admirer

  August 3, 2025

  How does someone know the 'One night Stand' types? 🤔

• Dennis Ngigi

  August 2, 2025

  I think we should be like children like a child can say what he/she feels without remorse but the message is clear as day open your heart and you shall know where you stand

• Dan✌️✌️

  August 2, 2025

  Tryna drive through lyf but sometimes relationships are caught in traffic,,,chain reactions from toxic inter

• Keh

  August 1, 2025

  Don't make conclusions out of signals. Caydences once said, if the traffic light is giving mixed signals, you wouldn't cross the road because you would most definitely be hit by a car and dieee😂.

• Secret admirer😊

  August 1, 2025

  This one got me thinking of me young dumb me fr🥲💔