What makes you think I want them broken?

Leila glances at her phone and realises it’s her twentieth birthday. Usually, she plans her birthdays months ahead, but this time she’d almost forgotten. So much has been weighing on her mind. She’s reached a point in life where she’s questioning what it all truly means. These thoughts began shortly after she lost someone who was so close to her heart, Willy Baraka, a loss she still struggles to comprehend. She couldn’t grasp how someone who had been such an integral part of her life could suddenly be gone forever.

It’s one of these hot Saturday afternoons when she only wants to read or write short stories. She writes stories about the things she cares about and the things she wonders about. There’s so much she wonders about, like the peculiar character of her coursemate, Jacob, who is now walking towards her. For a moment, she considers slipping away but quickly realises it would only make things more awkward than they already are. He always has a knack for making things awkward between them, like showing up when she is alone and quiet, just like now, and starting conversations she’d rather avoid but somehow can’t.

“Happy birthday, Leila!” Jacob says, his playful tone grating on her nerves.

“Thank you. But how did you know it’s my birthday?”

“I mean…how could I not?” he says with a smirk. “Anyways, what do you usually do for fun, since you’re always writing and reading? You told me you don’t like parties and movies like I do.”

“Believe me, I do find so much joy in the way I live.”

“Always reading and writing?” He asks, raising an eyebrow and giving her a look that seems to say, You’ve got to be kidding me! “I mean…that’s fine, but you don’t ever have time for yourself.”

“I do have time for myself; that’s why I spend it doing what I love,” Leila says, wondering why Jacob is making assumptions about her life.

He scrolls through his phone, selects a track, and suddenly blasts music with loud, thumping beats. Leila flinches; it’s the kind of chaotic sound she can’t stand, especially when she’s reading or writing. She prefers something slow and soothing. To make it worse, Jacob starts dancing in front of her.

“Do you let loose and enjoy yourself like this?” He says, grinning. “This is my favourite kind of music. You just have to feel the vibes!”

“No, I can’t pretend I like that,” Leila says flatly. “I don’t.”

“Come on, Leila,” Jacob says. “You’re holding yourself back from having fun. Life isn’t always so serious! That’s why I’m here, to make it more cheerful for you!”

Leila is quite turned off by the fact that it feels so strange for Jacob that she doesn’t enjoy what he enjoys. She’s very annoyed by his inability to understand that she can find happiness in ways completely different from his.

“I do have fun,” Leila says firmly. “In my own way. And it’s something I don’t want someone else to define for me.”

“You’re really trying to avoid something you crave for,” Jacob says. “Leila, you need to relax and have fun.”

“I don’t understand you.”

“There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you,” he says, hesitating for a moment. “But it feels like you don’t want to talk about it. Every time I come to you, you’re always talking about your books, your goals, and these deep, serious things. You never allow me to say what’s on my mind.”

“What do you mean?” Leila asks. His words feel more like an accusation than a confession, as if she owes him the space to unburden himself. The hint of blame in his voice doesn’t quite sit well with her. If he already senses they don’t see eye to eye, then why doesn’t he just keep his distance?

“You already know what I want to tell you.”

“No, I don’t,” Leila says. “Your problem is that you’re always making assumptions about what I think and feel as if it's somehow the same as what you’re feeling and thinking.”

Jacob sighs. “Look, Leila. I love you. I’ve wanted to tell you this for so long. I want to break this wall you’ve put up between us. I want to be with you, I’ve always wanted to date you.”

“And why do you feel like you need to break the wall I’ve built myself? Have you considered that I might not have the same feelings for you, and that’s why I’ve put up that wall?”

“Look, Leila, I’m serious,” Jacob says sternly, as if that’s going to change Leila’s mind. “I’m here for you. I know the pressures of life don’t allow you to enjoy it. But I’m here to help you see how beautiful life can be, beyond just writing and reading.”

Leila stares at him for a moment, wondering how he has concluded she’s unhappy with her life, that her life is not beautiful as it is, and that he somehow holds the key to making it better. Yet, he’s never shown genuine interest in her work, her goals, or even her stories. He hasn’t once taken time to read them or even wanted to understand her thoughts and feelings towards him. And now, he’s here, acting as if his serious tone alone can change her mind about him. She wouldn’t want him as a friend, let alone anything more.

Comments (5)

• Selpha Irusa

  August 14, 2025

  Such a powerful piece 🔥✨ I could feel every word❤️💯

• Jimmy Kariuki

  August 14, 2025

  Finding the art is your authenticity is your greatest beauty 💯

• Andy

  August 13, 2025

  Aah my favorite writer!!! Always taking my mind to deep literature and making the ordinary feel extraordinary.

• Celli ml

  August 13, 2025

  This is so Meeeee 😩😩! I ♥️ 20 ! Leila is 20! I'm 20! And 20: Is for firing dudes when they don't act right🚮! 20 is for figuring out🤷‍♀️. 20 is for finding out what you want to keep, and what you want to discard. 20 is definitely not for continuous compromise👣. So build those walls bbg♥️.

• Faith Njoki

  August 13, 2025

  Hey guys, hope you get inspired to explore your most authentic self 😌 especially to my girlies, usipewe pressure 🤗